Once in a while I need to prove to you my life isn’t all that much different than yours. Once in a while I need to write something so I can look back and laugh at it in twenty years. Once in a while (a great while) I have a post that is way more words than pictures. This is one of those posts. But stick with me. It’s worth it.
My husband convinced me to trade in our mini van. I think it’s really just because he felt like a dork driving it but I digress. Personally I miss my push button tailgate, sliding doors and can you believe I actually have to get out of the car to pop the gas tank? What’s up with that! I didn’t even think they made cars like that anymore. Anyway today as we were driving down the highway I realized that the child locks were something that you have to manually activate. Oy! I am not mentally equipped to deal with a large sized SUV, but again I digress. This morning while we were out running errands Mr. C pulled the handle on his door just enough to set off the door ajar notification and cause me to have to pull over on the highway to figure all this out. By 9am my nerves were already shot.
I manage to recover from that scare and get on with my morning. When we got home I needed a minute (or ten) so I set the baby up with some toys in the living room and offered to let C play out on the deck with his water table. He likes to fill it so I gave him some containers and told him to get water from the bathroom on his own. (He loooves to do things “all by myself” these days). He was playing pretty peacefully running back and forth between our bathroom and the deck for quite some time. Being careful not to spill the water and periodically walking by me and proudly stating “I’m doing it all myself Mama”. Then… I hear the toilet flush. (C is not potty trained). Sheer panic sets while I get my bearings and imagine all worst case scenarios. “C… where are you getting that water from”? His response, sounding both incredibly proud of his ingenuity and like he’s stating the obvious, “FROM THE POTTY!” Oy! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I guess I should be pleased he at least had the problem solving skills to flush the toilet to get more water when his supply ran out.
I headed outside to assess the damage, somewhat afraid of what I might find. Thankfully it was “clean” toilet water. Phew! Dodged a bullet there. While I’m out on the deck dumping the water table I turn around and C runs back into the house shuts the door and locks it. I am not kidding you. He locks the door and runs off laughing maniacally. At this point really all I could do was crack up laughing myself. I could have run around to our front door but I decided I really needed him to undo some damage here. Eventually he did let me back in and we quickly had lunch and headed off to bed for a nap. Even if he didn’t need one, I did.
At this point I am seriously considering cracking into a bottle of wine from the case that was coincidentally delivered to our door late yesterday afternoon. (Thank goodness for wine clubs).
Stories are read, C is tucked in, I’m sitting peacefully on the couch, with my laptop, trying desperately to zone out and scanning facebook status updates to see if anyone’s kids are crazier than mine today. All is quiet for a while and I think I’m in the clear and then I hear something that sounds like metal hitting the floor coming from upstairs. I choose to ignore it knowing my bliss won’t last long and sure enough eventually I hear “Mammaaaa”. When I go upstairs C hands me a (rather large) screw followed by an enthusiastic “look what I did”. Somehow my child had managed to unscrew one of the railings from the side of his bed. Don’t ask. No idea.
No worries though. C is safe. The water table is sanitized. The bed is put back together. The rest of the afternoon did go a little smoother and without incident. Thank goodness because I don’t think I could have taken anymore. I’m sitting here with my glass of wine (finally) relaxing and really just laughing because sometimes in parenthood that’s all you can do.